Show You The Universe
by dracarysyotch
Summary: 13 realizes how her past is catching up to her as she attempts to sort out her feelings for Yaz. Thasmin rises!


The four members of Team Tardis spilled through the doors of the now-familiar blue telephone box in chaos. As the doctor slammed the door shut, a mighty roar seemed to rattle the windowpanes of the door and everyone collapsed to the floor, panting heavily.

"I can't believe it," Graham wheezed, "A robot dinosaur in the 42nd century intent on charring us with lasers? All because Ryan insisted on picking up an egg that didn't belong to him!"

Ryan turned to his step-grandfather and opened his mouth to fire back a retort, before realizing he didn't have the oxygen or the energy to respond. After all, he really shouldn't have picked up that egg. He settled for a guilty nod and raised his arms above his head to aid breathing.

"It's alright Ryan," Yaz said gently. "If any of us were in your position, we would have done the same thing, just like the Stenza capsule. Curiosity is just human nature". She patted Ryan on the shoulder, missing the shadow that came over the Doctor's face like an eclipse. The time-lord muttered about fragile circuits and pilotry and fled belowdecks away from her new best friends as quickly as her legs could carry her, not forgetting to pull the lever to send the TARDIS zooming into the time vortex and away from the dinosaur (unlike a previous regeneration who had taken the dinosaur with him).

Her previous regenerations… her former companions… her former foolish companions with all of their human… human-ness, the doctor mused. She ran her hands through her disappointingly not-ginger hair and sat on the swing so many of her companions had occupied. Of course she warned Graham, Ryan, and Yaz about the dangers of traveling, but they didn't know how many companions had been hurt or killed in adventures. The doctor's hearts seemed to break a little when recalling a certain red-haired scotswoman, a faithful roman, a granddaughter, a wife, a bad wolf…

Of course with River it had been different. She was still a stranger to the doctor when she died. And Rose didn't truly die, but both absences still hurt like a void that could never be filled. And now with Yaz… the doctor sighed. Even though she was still new to this body and personality, just being near Yaz had been enough to sort out her priorities quite quickly. Even when they were transported to a dangerous new land, at least she could see the wonder on Yaz's face at her first alien planet. And when Yaz's mum had asked if they were seeing each other, the doctor had decided (for once in her long life) to play dumb and not understand the question. And the blush that came over Yaz's face was well worth any missed IQ points. But now, all she could think about was Rose's face fade away on Bad Wolf Bay and Amy's final look at the doctor before the Weeping Angel took her permanently.

"Doctor?" Yaz queried, interrupting the Doctor's recollections, "Are you alright? Ryan and Graham went to bed, but I couldn't sleep, not after dodging lasers coming from the mouth of a twenty-meter high robot".

"Ah, Yaz!" The Doctor exclaimed, ignoring the fact that her voice had gone up half an octave and her face had burned a shade of red a Zygon would be proud of. "I was just… fixing the telemetry interface. It's a very tricky bit of machinery, the circuits have been misfiring and dispensing custard creams, not that I'm complaining much", the time lord rambled on in her familiar yet slightly alien accent.

Yaz cocked her head and stared at the doctor with concern. The blonde woman in front of her was twitchy and nervous and kept avoiding Yaz's eye. Of course, Yaz was trying to conceal her own nerves. Ever since this mysterious alien woman had literally and figuratively crashed into her life, Yaz had felt (for the first time in a long while) like she was really living: taking on challenges, seeing wonders, and solving problems with a woman she might just have feelings for. The Sheffield native had tried to keep her heart from pounding out of her chest whenever the doctor came into the room and speak normally when the doctor addressed her, even though she tended to stutter and make a fool of herself. But feelings were feelings, and occasionally she would "accidentally" bump her hand against the time lord's, or laugh at her terribly corny space jokes that Ryan and Graham would just roll their eyes at. When the doctor had shielded her from the Pting bomb, she could barely focus on anything except for the intoxicating smell of the doctor's coat and hair, an impossible mix of crackling electricity and the sea.

The two women stood regarding each other for an awkward moment, neither willing to leave the other's presence. Finally, the doctor tore her gaze away from the floor, which had been very interesting for the past minute, and looked into Yaz's brown eyes.

"Are you alright, Yaz?" she asked. "I know these adventures can be scary. I understand if it's too much, Sheffield is just a second away".

Yaz looked back into the Doctor's eyes in concern. "Do you want me to leave?" she asked, her voice cracking and betraying her anxiety. "I know I'm young and I don't really understand anything about alien planets, but—"

The doctor cut her off. "No, no, no, I don't want you to leave if you don't want to". She gulped and then rambled on, "I want you to stay. I want more time with you too, to show you the universe: all the beauty and all the wonders. But there have been people in the past. There was a girl named Rose, same age as you, from London, working in a shop. I saved her life and then we ran away on adventures. She got the same look in her eyes as you when she saw something new. Rose had the same kindness you have, no matter the species. But there was an accident, and she got trapped in a parallel world, lost to me forever. And it took all the restraint I had to not tear the universe apart to get back to her, because I cared about her so deeply. I would never want… well, I care about you and…", the doctor trailed off.

There was a long silence.

"Rose. She sounds like a girlfriend", Yaz half-joked, trying to lighten the situation.

The doctor missed the lighthearted note in Yaz's voice and replied honestly. "She was in love with me, and… I suppose I was in love with her too. But I put her in danger and paid the price".

Yaz said a silent, quick prayer that her heart wouldn't explode out of her chest like Alien and decided to throw caution to the winds. "I care for you very much doctor", she blurted out, "and I never want to stop traveling with you. But I care for you in a way that makes me sad when you call us all family. Because I don't want to be your family. I want to be your girlfriend".

There was the longest silence of Yaz's life.

In a swift motion, the doctor exited the swing and grabbed Yaz's soft hands in her own calloused ones. "Yasmin Khan," she declared, "I'd like to be your girlfriend too".


End file.
